The hard work of soft skills

by Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D.

 

At a claim office of about 125 employees, the head of Human Resources spent the day observing the local manager.

Not only had the office ranked high on productivity, but this particular manager had received fantastic feedback on her company's Leadership Measurement survey. So the HR executive was curious to watch her interact with employees to figure out what generated this great response.

As they walked through the office, conversing about the normal work conditions, the manager would often stop and refer to specific individuals: "Steve over there has been in our area for 15 years. Steve also coaches Little League. They won their game last Thursday."

Then they'd move on to someone else, and as they left that person's area, quietly the manager would say, "Sally had some problems with her daughter this year. You know how difficult teenagers can be. We've had many sessions behind closed doors where Sally's trying to sort through these problems."

Months later, when I interviewed the HR executive, that day at the claim office was still etched in her mind. "It became apparent to me," she explained, "that this manager knew all of her people. And I don't mean just knew their jobs. She knew each individual - their backgrounds and hobbies, what their concerns were, what got them excited. She knew when they were upbeat because things were going well, and she knew when they were struggling and needed her time and attention. I asked her how on earth she could do this for 125 people. Her response: 'That's my job.'"

Great leaders understand that you can't pay people to excel. You can only pay them to show up. But once you've got them there, the leader's job is to encourage people to excel by creating an atmosphere of caring, trust and inclusion. Sun Tzu, author of the Chinese "The Art of War" put it this way: "Regard your soldiers as your own children, and they will follow you into the deepest valleys. Treat them as your own beloved sons, and they will be with you even unto death."

As an expert on the "human side" of organizational change, I have been a guest on hundreds of radio call-in programs over the past several years, but I especially remember one in the Northwest, when an unusual number of disgruntled employees were phoning in with corporate "horror stories."

People complained about being unappreciated and overlooked. They spoke of callous treatment from uncaring bosses, and reported that they worked for organizations "just interested in making a buck." For the entire hour, calls followed the same line. Finally, in genuine disgust, the interviewer said to me: "The principles you're giving us sound so simple, why aren't more managers following them?"

I didn't have to think twice about my reply: "With all the diet books on the market, why aren't we all thin and trim? What could be simpler than reducing calories and increasing exercise?"

The answer to my question and his is the same. Things that are simple are not necessarily easy.

My work has enabled me to deal with business leaders around the world, and not once have I encountered a boss who despised all his or her employees. On the contrary, the leaders I've met were genuinely concerned about the well-being of people who reported to them. (Even the occasional leader whose only focus was on the bottom line understood that the best way to increase profits was to build the commitment of talented employees.)

When you think of the qualities that leaders need to encourage in their employees -- responsibility, creativity, caring, commitment -- you can see why coercion or manipulation just doesn't work. The leaders who influence us the most are those who understand that engagement and productivity are not about rules, regulations, and rewards -- or the struggle to keep people "in line."

In general, it's the soft skills of leadership that are paramount. Leaders (and their organizations) won't succeed without a genuine caring about people and the ability to develop and nurture interpersonal relationships.

This is something that the MBA industry is grappling with today. Many business schools are revisiting their offerings to see if they still have relevance in the 21st century. Consider Harvard Business School, the blue-chip brand of all MBA programs, which used 2008 (its centennial year) to convene worldwide experts on business education and plot its directions for the next 100 years.

The results: Deans and recruiters said that MBAs in general needed better communication skills, increased self-awareness and an enhanced capacity for introspection and empathy. HBS is now looking at several change proposals, among them a program to develop various soft skills in its students.

Isn't that simple?

Not easy, mind you, But simple.

Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D., is a keynote speaker who addresses association, government, and business audiences around the world. Her latest book and program topic is THE NONVERBAL ADVANTAGE - Secrets and Science of Body Language at Work.  For more information, contact Carol by phone: 510-526-1727, email: CGoman@CKG.com, or through her websites: www.CKG.com and www.NonverbalAdvantage.com.

Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D.
Kinsey Consulting Services

Carol coaches executives and delivers keynote speeches and seminars to association and business audiences around the world. She can be reached by phone: +1-510-526-1727, email: CGoman@CKG.com, or through her web sites: www.CKG.com and www.NonverbalAdvantage.com.                                

Author of ten books, including:
* The Nonverbal Advantage: Secrets and Science of Body Language at Work
* This Isn't the Company I Joined -- How to Lead in a Business Turned Upside Down
* Ghost Story: A Modern Business Fable
* Creativity in Business
* Change-Busting: 50 Ways to Sabotage Organizational Change
* Adapting to Change: Making it Work for You
* The Human Side of High-Tech

 

Making Social Media work for your business - for Ark Group just published!	Social Media: The New Business Communication Landscape - for Ark Group	How to get started with podcasting in your organisation - for Melcrum Publishing
Contributing author to How to use social media to solve critical internal communication issues - for Melcrum Publishing	Contributing author to How to communicate with hard-to-reach employees - for Melcrum Publishing	Contributing author to How to use social media to engage employees - for Melcrum Publishing

 

 

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